At twelve its difficult to realize that your best friend is slowly beginning to drown their own life. The most terrifying thing in my mind at that point was beginning middle school and being to shy to talk to the cute boy sitting in back of me in math class. I will never forget the day that my own best friend told me that she took up an offer a thirty year old man gave her for some drugs and a ride home one night. What is there to say? Do I yell at her as if I was her mother? Do I tell her parents and loose my best friend? From that day on I was faced with my own belief that my own goodwill to never give up on my friend will spare her life.
I became extremely concerned. Even though I was only in sixth grade and I didn’t have much freedom myself, I was going to take all the precautions I could to make sure she stayed out of trouble. Everyday for a year I asked my parents if she could sleep over or go on trips with us so that I was with her and I knew what she was doing at every moment. At such a young age I was scared to tell my parents because I believed I could help her on my own and the situation could get worse if I involved her lunatic mother. Obviously as much as my own parents loved her, they didn’t want her to permanently live in our house, so occasionally they would send her home not knowing what she was getting thrown into. Until one day, when her mother called my house which was very unusual. After the phone call my mom informed me that I was never to speak to my own best friend again because I was the bad influence who introduced her to all of her problems. Her mother did everything she could to keep me away from any communication with her daughter, and it worked for quite a few years.
Three years later I got another unannounced phone call from her mother. At this point we were both about 16 years old, in the 9Th grade, and hadn’t talked for about three years. Then I got a ridiculous apologetic plead that she had no idea I was the one helping her daughter all along. She had been put in the hospital for an overdose and they wanted my help. Even though I was so incredibly infuriated at that lady for accusing me of those things I accepted her apologies just for my friend and began helping her again.
The first time I saw her out of the hospital face-to-face on a normal day I was completely speechless. She was not the same girl that I had called my best friend, her hair was crunchy as if it had not been washed in weeks as well as burnt out in different exotic colors, her face was as pale as a ghost, her eyes looked as if she had to use all her strength to keep them open, she was hunched over wearing big baggy dirty clothes on her skinny body that looked as if she just entirely gave up on cleaning, and she mumbled out her words barely even making a sentence. Immediately I spent every day with her making sure she was clean. Thank god she was happy to see me helping her and not disgusted. I took her to get tested for AIDS which turned out negative. I encouraged her to take a childcare class with me so that we could go after what we originally said we wanted to be when we grew up, which were special needs teachers.
Now I am delighted to say that she is totally 100% clean from drugs, prostitution, AIDS, and everything else that challenged her life in the past. She is healthy and is currently attending Broward College majoring in Special Education. She even works at a preschool at NOVA Southeastern University as a special needs teachers aide. I can’t even imagine where she would be right now if it weren’t for me. I am so proud of myself for believing in my own goodwill to spare another’s life.
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2 comments:
There aren't many people in the world like you who will forgive someone for accusing you for things you never did and willing to help their best friend come clean. It must have been a very tough time for both you and your best friend. I wish my best friend would stand by my side like you stood by her side. This essay was very well writen and touching.
I think you have a powerful story to work from, and a good sense of drama. The biggest issue here is probably one of tone. It will be a turn off to many readers if they think you are "tooting your own horn" too much. In other words, it may look to some that the point of your essay is that you're a saint. Saying things like "I can’t even imagine where she would be right now if it weren’t for me. I am so proud of myself" does not exactly sound humble.
I don't think you need to ditch the whole story, however. It's a more an issue of emphasis. How could you restate your belief so the focus is off of you and more on something like friendship, perseverance, peer influence, or addiction? What does your story tell us about the difficulty of helping friends? Your story speaks to all of these in some way, and these are beliefs to which readers could relate without feeling they are being bragged to.
Your sentence structure could help with this as well. Instead of making yourself the subject of the sentence ("I encouraged her to take a childcare class with me"), focus on her or the two of you together ("We took a childcare class"). Such changes will go a long way to helping readers focus on your insights.
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